As our parents used to say, 'too much of everything is bad.' The same goes for substance abuse—it’s dangerous. Five (5) Nigerians have shared how they lost the relationship they valued most through addiction.
Content Warning: This article discusses personal experiences with drug and substance abuse. If you or someone you care about is facing challenges with addiction, please click here to find support and resources. {alertWarning}
Addicts always think they have control over their substance. But as time goes on, they begin to lie about it, hide it, and in fact, prioritize it over they relationship. Addiction has always been a habit—it usually starts small, and later became something that can't be controlled.
For some Nigerians, addiction didn’t just change their lives, it fractured their connections with partners, friends, and even their children. Let's dive into what 5 Nigerians shared about how additions slowly ruined the relationships.
1. Feranmi: 24 Years, Male, Ex-Marijuana Addict
Feranmi shared how addictions to Marijuana occasionally destroyed his relationship with lovers, family and friends. “My marijuana use made me lose the trust of those close to me.” He explained that despite his efforts to make peace, some relationship are unfixable due to some decisions he made while in active addiction. "My goal now is to make better choices that reflect the new, clean me and make amends where I can," Feranmi shared.
2. Ese: 24 Years, Female, Alcoholic
First of all, Ese emphasized that her addictions to alcohol is still ongoing and has serious ruined her relationship with her mother. “My mum hates how much I drink. I’m the only child, and she’s hell-bent on not losing me to a random sickness or the other.”
Ese said that there's a history of health issues in their family, so her mum constantly worries that drinking might lead to serious organ problems for Ese. Although, she admitted that she's still drinking alcohol but not everyday. "I’m more of a social drinker now. Regardless, it has been a difficult journey," she said.
3. Dili: 31 Years, Male, Ex-Colos Addict
Dili shared his experience about how all his friends from university restricted from talking to him because he was addicted to colos—a synthetic type of weed that’s well-known among street guys. “I lost all my friends because I couldn’t stop using colos.” "The high was intense and mind-numbing; I loved it. The issue was that when I got high, the drug had the tendency to make me black out and act crazy."
There were times when Dili would completely lose control—convulsing, throwing up, or screaming because of terrifying hallucinations. After it happened a few times at parties, his friends started to pull away, not wanting to deal with the chaos anymore.
There was one incident that really changed everything. It happened at a pool party. Dili kept saying he needed to go find his friends “at the bottom of the pool.” It got so bad, people had to tie him down with ropes to stop him from hurting himself. Someone recorded the whole thing on video and sent it to Dili’s parents. That was the final straw—Dili parents put him in rehab right away.
Thankfully, Dili is in a much better place now. He’ve been able to completely quit the drug, but he still carry a lot of regret—especially over the friendships and connections he lost along the way. "I’m better now and I’m totally off the drug. I regret not stopping earlier, I lost some of my most precious relationships because of it. I just thank God, I’m on a better path now."
4. Deremi 34 Years, Male, Ex-Porn Addict
Deremi shared how addictions to masturbating ruined his relationship. He said he's been an addict of masturbation since he was in secondary when he started watching porns. "I used to masturbate at least once a day, and as I got older, the number increased to about four or five."
He emphasized that his girlfriend broke up with him because she couldn't hold it when she went through his phone to see all the burner social media account of his favourite fifty or so porn pages he used to followed. Her disgust hit like whiplash.
She broke up with me a few weeks later because, according to her, I had a problem, and it wasn’t normal to masturbate four or five times a day. Deremi said the broke up was an eye opener that got him to seek helps. "It was an eye-opening experience for me. I got some help from my church and eventually a therapist."
5. Jimi 63 Years, Male, Gambler
Jimi began gambling with a group of friends since teenagers. He said since when he won ₦350,000 from one of his bets in 2016, he couldn't stop chasing big bag. “My gambling addiction has ruined my relationship with my children.” He said "in 2018, I lost the money for my last child’s university fees on a bet that didn’t payout, and that incident has destroyed my relationship with my children."
Jimi’s addiction really took a toll on his family. When everything came to light, he spent months begging his wife to forgive him. Eventually, she did. His youngest child has also forgiven him, but his two older kids still refuse to speak to him—they’ve made it clear they’re deeply disappointed by his actions.
Even now, Jimi is holding onto hope. He still places a few bets here and there, convinced that if he just lands a big win, he’ll be able to fix everything and bring his family back together, just like it was before. "Something tells me that if I can just win a good amount from one of my bets, I can fix our relationship, and things will go back to how they used to be," Jimi said.
